Today Monica gets together with Heather (her wife) to discuss one of their mutually shared core principles of game design: participation makes the game. If you remove players from play, you are denying them the chance to experience your game. We break down what this means as well as provide good and bad examples of designing for character creation, incapacitation, elimination, and replacement. We also discuss constructive self-entertainment vs. disruptive behavior and techniques for different designs and different styles of play.