Episode Transcript
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Fib! Can you spot the light? Big Fib!
1:00
Some pigs can fly. Big Fib! But
1:02
if you ask me why, can you trust
1:04
the answer? Oh,
1:08
the Big Fib! From Reville,
1:10
Virginia, this is the Big
1:12
Fib, and now here's your
1:15
host, Deborah Goldstein. Welcome
1:17
to the Big Fib, the game
1:19
show where kids choose between the
1:22
rich-sounding, harmonious glissando of truth and
1:24
the buzzing and strapped dissonance of
1:26
lies. I'm your host,
1:28
Deborah Goldstein, and in the studio
1:30
today is our sound effects robot,
1:32
Lisa, whose name stands for live
1:34
in studio audience. Ooh,
1:38
uh, Lisa, it sounds like your output is
1:40
not set to the right frequency. Can you
1:42
change that? The best
1:44
time to wear a striped
1:46
sweater. The wicket is
1:49
inspected and another test begins. Is
1:53
that cold, boo? And
1:57
she stepped on the ball. I'm
2:01
going to get the first use of this good
2:03
wicked. Still no. Okay, here, let me just adjust.
2:06
And so I said, why the long
2:08
face? You're back!
2:10
Fantastic! It is fantastic,
2:12
because I have a listener question from
2:15
John that I'd like to play. Oh,
2:17
please do. Lisa, how
2:19
old are you? Ah,
2:22
age. Age is an antiquated human construct
2:25
that has little meaning in the world
2:27
of robots. I mean,
2:29
what is age other than a
2:31
human record of conscious awareness tracked
2:33
by a linear calendar of human
2:35
design? You don't know how old you are, do you?
2:38
In simple human terms? Uh,
2:41
no. Okay, well, I agree with
2:43
you that age is unimportant. Oh,
2:45
I didn't say it was unimportant for you humans.
2:48
It's probably very important that you are, you
2:50
know, 172 years old. Uh,
2:53
no, no, no, I'm not. Now
2:55
don't be coy, Deborah, you should
2:57
celebrate your very advanced human age.
3:00
I'm not shy about it, Lisa, but this
3:02
joke about my age is getting old. Like
3:04
you. We're
3:06
gonna move on now that you sort of
3:08
kind of answered John's question and let our
3:10
listeners know what our game is all about.
3:13
Well, there's certainly no age requirement to do
3:15
that. Mmm. What?
3:17
Oh, so here goes. Every
3:19
week we bring on two grownups. One
3:22
is an expert. The other? Oh,
3:24
what? We haven't fixed this yet. The other one
3:27
is a liar. And it's the job of
3:29
a human child to help us figure out who was who.
3:31
Because no one can spot a liar better than
3:33
a kid. At least we hope. I mean, we
3:36
bought a billboard and it says that. What are
3:38
we lying about today, Deborah? We
3:40
are lying about the accordion, a
3:42
musical instrument using forced air to
3:44
produce sounds. And to ask questions
3:46
about accordions and find our fibber,
3:48
we need a contestant. Who is
3:50
our contestant today, Lisa? Our
3:52
human child contestant. Is an 11
3:54
year old who loves gerbils and
3:57
drawing anime. Is he? Hi,
4:00
Izzy. Hi. Nice
4:03
to have you on the show. I
4:05
want to know all about those facts.
4:07
You love drawing anime. Do you have
4:09
a favorite anime character? My favorite anime
4:11
character would probably be Rama from the
4:14
show Rama One Half. And
4:16
what's that all about? It's about this
4:18
guy named Rama, but when he's
4:20
splashed with cold water, he turns into a girl. Oh,
4:23
cool. And so it's all about like
4:25
wacky hijinks that ensue. That ensue, I
4:27
love that. I love ensuing hijinks.
4:31
That sounds really cool. You heard it here. Everybody
4:33
should go take a look. And you like to
4:35
draw them, right? Yeah. Very
4:38
cool. An artist. And you
4:40
have a special shout out. Is that correct? Oh, yeah.
4:42
So I want to shout out one of my
4:44
friends, Kara. Shout out, Kara.
4:46
Yeah. Partially for being the
4:49
one who introduced me to this podcast and
4:51
partially kind of being like, can
4:53
I hear before it comes out? Like, can I
4:55
hear the episode before it comes out? And I'm
4:57
like, what if I mention you? You're a good
4:59
friend. This has been an official shout
5:01
out. Shout out. Nice.
5:05
That's great. So we love Kara too, because
5:07
she's the one who turned you onto the
5:09
podcast. So we're all shouting out to Kara.
5:11
Thanks for tuning in, Kara. Hello,
5:13
Kara. Well, we want to know some
5:15
more fun facts about you, Izzy, but
5:17
we're going to do it playing our
5:19
game, Two Truths and a Lie. You,
5:21
Izzy, are going to tell us three
5:23
facts about yourself. Two of those facts
5:25
will be true. One will be
5:27
a lie. We have to see how well
5:29
you can lie by trying to figure out
5:32
which one is the lie, Izzy. What
5:34
are your three facts? Okay. Number
5:36
one, I am halfway finished writing a
5:38
novel. Number two, I play
5:40
the oboe. And number three, I love
5:42
to snowboard. That's a good
5:45
list of facts because each one is very different
5:47
than the other. It makes it really hard to
5:49
choose. What do you think, Lisa? Very
5:51
challenging. Let's see. If
5:53
she were to play the oboe,
5:56
then it would be
5:58
hard for her to snowboard.
6:00
because I think you
6:02
need your hands to kind of balance
6:04
when you're snowboarding. So
6:06
it's like those two kind of fight each other.
6:09
And then also if she was writing a novel,
6:11
how's she gonna snowboard and write a novel at
6:13
the same time? None of these
6:15
really make sense. So I'm kind of in
6:17
the dark on this one, but I'm just
6:19
gonna go with my gut and say that
6:21
I don't think anyone really loves to snowboard
6:23
because it's just like falling for a long
6:25
time and nobody likes falling. So
6:27
I'm gonna go with I love to snowboard is
6:30
the lie. Thank you. Okay. I
6:32
think there's a little more to it than falling,
6:35
but let's check in Izzy. Which one of those
6:37
facts is your lie? You're
6:39
right. I do not love to snowboard.
6:41
I ski. Yeah, cause nobody likes falling.
6:44
She skis though. Would you say that's falling,
6:46
Lisa? Oh, you ski? Oh,
6:48
she does like falling. Wait, my
6:50
logic was wrong? Apparently. Your logic was
6:53
wrong, but you got it correct. But
6:55
also that means that you play the
6:57
oboe, which is a beautiful instrument. That
6:59
sounds very cool. And also you
7:01
are halfway through your first novel. What's
7:03
your novel about? So it's about this
7:05
girl named Jasmine and her pet wolf
7:07
named Ark. And
7:10
this special magic water ring and
7:12
like how she has to save
7:14
this whole round thing. Wow.
7:16
Okay. so
7:18
we can read it. Yes. Okay. What
7:21
do you know about the accordion, Izzy?
7:23
I know that I cannot play it.
7:25
Okay. I know that it is technically
7:27
a keyboard instrument even though that there's
7:30
reeds. Okay. Okay. And
7:32
I know that it has kind of like half piano
7:34
thing on one side and a bunch of buttons on
7:36
the other side. So I do, do, do, do, do.
7:39
Nice. And that's exactly what it sounds like. That
7:41
could also describe me. That's
7:43
true. Yeah. You have
7:46
a lot in common with accordions. Yeah. I
7:48
got a bunch of buttons on one side and a weird keyboard on the other
7:50
side. Oh, wait,
7:52
am I an accordion? No, you're not. You're
7:54
not. I don't really understand myself.
7:58
This is a momentous occasion. Isn't it Izzy?
8:00
All right, well, we want to learn
8:03
more about the accordion, but I think
8:05
it would be good if we could
8:07
do that by asking our experts some
8:09
questions. So Lisa, can you give us
8:11
some music to welcome our accordion experts?
8:15
Hey, come on in
8:17
with your accordion, unless
8:20
you didn't bring it. And that's okay,
8:22
because we didn't specify that you had
8:24
to bring it. We just
8:26
assumed you would. Whoa!
8:30
They get better and better. Okay,
8:32
our first expert is Marianne Kubone.
8:34
Marianne, could you please introduce yourself
8:36
to Izzy? Hi Isabelle, I'm Marianne, and
8:38
I'm an accordion teacher. Thank you for that.
8:41
And now we will meet our
8:43
second expert, Frank Gorsky. Frank, please
8:45
introduce yourself to Izzy. Hey, I'm
8:47
Frank Gorsky, and I play accordion in a band
8:50
called The Barrel Hoppers. Maybe we can play
8:52
for you someday. Ooh, that would be
8:54
fun. Hot seat, hot seat,
8:56
hot seat, hot seat, hot seat, hot seat. Dropping
9:02
like a time. Tell us about
9:04
those bellowing beats, Lisa. Those are the
9:06
seat beats. Look as it's
9:08
hot seat time. That is correct, it's
9:10
hot seat time. That's when we put
9:12
our experts on the hot seat while
9:14
they answer Izzy's questions. Lisa, whom
9:16
should we put on the hot seat first?
9:19
Frank Gorsky, because his name sounds
9:21
like an old timey detective name.
9:23
I'm Frank Gorsky, and I'm on
9:25
the case. Ooh, nice, I
9:27
like that. That could be another job for him if
9:29
the accordion thing doesn't work out, right? Gorsky,
9:32
Frank Gorsky. Nice.
9:34
Okay, so Izzy, what is your first
9:37
question for Frank? What is a typical
9:39
day at your job? So as
9:41
an accordionist, I travel a lot, right? We play
9:43
in a band, and so most of my time
9:46
is spent in a van with a bunch of
9:48
stinky guys going from gig to gig.
9:51
We play about 100 dates a year all
9:53
over the country, so there's a
9:55
lot of driving. But in addition to that, there's
9:57
a lot of practice, right? You gotta warm up
9:59
your fingers. So there's a lot of wiggling
10:01
going on and some hand exercises that you can do.
10:04
And then we spend probably an
10:07
hour or two, three or four times a
10:09
week practicing. So that's not a typical day,
10:11
I guess, but that's a typical week. Yeah,
10:13
that sounds like fun except for the stinky
10:16
guy part. Mary-Ann, can you describe what an
10:18
accordion is? I certainly can. An accordion is
10:20
a reed instrument. We wouldn't
10:22
put it in the keyboard family because not
10:25
all accordions are keyboard instruments. Many
10:27
accordions have buttons on both sides. And
10:29
the heart of the instrument is the
10:31
bellows. So it's the wind
10:33
that makes the reeds speak and
10:35
make sound. And it could
10:37
be many sizes, many colors. It
10:40
could be really you could order an accordion to
10:42
look like anything you wanted it to look like.
10:45
Whatever your favorite color is, or if you wanted it to
10:47
be some sort of a pattern, that could all happen. And
10:50
many sizes, everything from the smallest one having just
10:52
12 buttons on the left hand to more than
10:55
120. Wait,
10:57
so could I like order an accordion to look like
10:59
a dragon? It wouldn't be
11:01
the shape of a dragon, but it could
11:03
certainly be imprinted on the bellows for sure.
11:06
Cool. Love that. That's a reason
11:08
to take up the accordion. Okay. What
11:10
advice would you give me if I wanted to do your job
11:12
and this is for both of you? So
11:15
you'd have to begin playing the accordion, which
11:17
is something I think everyone should do anyway.
11:20
And then you would need to practice every
11:22
day. I think that would be the most
11:24
important advice. Every day you need to spend
11:26
a little time with that instrument. So practice
11:28
really works? Apparently.
11:32
Most definitely. I wish there was an expression
11:34
about that. What would
11:36
it be, Lisa? Practice
11:38
makes people around you
11:40
annoyed. I
11:43
think they would be very happy to hear that
11:45
you're making a wonderful effort and you're persistent and
11:47
dedicated. Yeah, that's what I meant. Yeah, okay, fine.
11:50
All right, Frank, are you going to take that
11:52
question too? I am going to take that question.
11:54
And first of all, I'd agree with what Marianne
11:56
said, but I'd add a couple of things. Is
11:58
he first? put
14:00
it more starting in the early 1800s
14:02
in Vienna. It
14:04
was pretty simple at first. There were some piano keys,
14:07
a few reeds, and the bellows
14:09
that Mary Ann just described. Over
14:12
time, a bass part was added to
14:14
the second side so that you could
14:16
play your own accompaniment, and
14:19
that really helped the instrument take
14:21
off. In the 1920s, they added
14:23
something called a fluevin, which helps
14:25
control the airflow better than the
14:27
older styles did. It
14:29
makes it actually a little lighter, believe it or not. After
14:32
the fluevin was added in the 20s, it
14:35
really took off. In the 30s, 40s, and 50s, they
14:38
just got more and more complicated
14:41
with the number of keys or
14:43
buttons. Then more
14:45
recently, they've invented a digital
14:47
accordion. That's really heavy and I
14:49
got to be honest, I don't mess around with it because
14:51
I like the old style myself. Thank you
14:54
very much. Izzy, back to you. This
14:56
is probably my favorite question. Which
14:58
Yankovic would you rather play with, Frankie or
15:00
Weird Al? That's going to go to both
15:03
of you. Me first this time. Can I go first? Can I
15:05
go first? 100 percent. This
15:07
is not a slight on the other guy,
15:09
but 100 percent. I'm playing
15:12
with Frankie because without Frankie, there
15:14
is no Weird Al. He was the
15:16
Polka King, the King, the
15:18
most popular musician in America for a
15:20
long time. One of the
15:22
coolest things about Frankie Yankovic is that he
15:25
was in World War II. He
15:27
almost lost his fingers. Oh, no. Because he
15:30
got frostbite, it got so cold, he almost
15:32
lost his fingers. Can you imagine what the
15:34
world would be like if Frankie
15:36
Yankovic had lost his fingers in the war?
15:38
It's a sad thought. I can't even think
15:41
of it. I can't even think of it.
15:43
It's mind-blowing for me. I
15:45
would 1000 percent say Frankie Yankovic. Okay.
15:48
Mary Ann, do you concur? Can I choose
15:51
none of the above? You can. Tell us
15:53
why. Well, it just wouldn't be my particular
15:55
style of music, that's all. That's
15:58
fair. What kind of music would- you
16:00
like to play? Well, believe it or
16:02
not, I have a bachelor's degree in
16:04
accordion performance. People don't
16:07
even think that's an option. So I
16:09
would prefer to play something classical. That's
16:11
what I would play on the accordion. All right,
16:13
interesting answers. Very good. Well
16:16
done. Hey,
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you might cringe at that word and say, ugh, subscriptions.
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perfect for binging episode after episode without
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us, you get other perks too. who
20:00
plays the accordion. The coolest guy in the
20:02
room. No kidding. An accordionist
20:04
or Schlosselmeister, which is German
20:07
for Keymaster. Are there left-handed accordions? I'm
20:09
a lefty, I wish there were, but
20:11
no. What is the earliest version of
20:13
the accordion that dates back to ancient
20:15
China? Well, that's the Sheng. In
20:17
what movie did the accordion first appear in the year
20:19
1888? Ooh, Pass.
20:22
Factor FIB. Most accordions are made
20:24
by hand. That's a fact. Is
20:26
the accordion a percussion instrument or a reed
20:29
instrument? Trick question there, it's a wind instrument.
20:31
Who patented the accordion in 1829? Oh,
20:34
it was an Austrian guy. I
20:37
can see the name, but I can't remember it. Something
20:40
IAN, I think, an Ensign. Can I take a
20:42
half pass on that? What kind of accordion is
20:44
famous for tango music? That's the
20:46
concertina. Factor FIB. Before rock and
20:48
roll in the guitar, the accordion was the most
20:50
popular instrument in the United States. Absolute
20:53
fact. And time. That's all
20:55
the time, sorry. Very good. It's
20:57
music to my ears. Okay. It's
21:03
decision time. Izzy has to register
21:05
all the information she's heard to
21:07
decide who is fibbing. Izzy,
21:09
who is our big fibber? Uh,
21:12
I have no idea. Uh-oh.
21:15
That's right. No,
21:17
there is a fibber. I'm gonna
21:20
go and say Frank is
21:22
the liar. Because? Why
21:25
do you think so? I had looked up
21:27
a bunch of stuff about when the accordion
21:29
was patented. Mm-hmm. And the thing
21:31
he said for the last name. I don't
21:33
think that was correct. Okay. So
21:35
you're relying on fact and research. An
21:38
interesting strategy. Okay. Will
21:40
the actual accordion expert please
21:43
say, I am the
21:45
accordion expert? I
21:48
am the accordion expert? Oh, yes. Woo!
21:50
Izzy, got it! That's right.
21:52
Mary Ann Cabone is president
21:54
of the Accordionists and Teachers
21:56
Guild International, a professional organization.
21:58
promoting excellence in performance and
22:01
teaching the accordion. She is
22:03
also the director of the
22:05
Chicagoland Accordion Academy, where she
22:07
teaches accordion to students of
22:09
all ages and abilities. Wow.
22:11
Welcome, Mary-Ann. I feel like
22:13
we have accordion nobility
22:15
in the house. Welcome. Okay.
22:17
Time to do some fact-checking. Mary-Ann,
22:19
let's grill our liar about the
22:22
lies he told. How did he
22:24
hit below the belt? Wow. I
22:29
don't know what a flueven is. I
22:31
thought actually Frank did a pretty decent
22:33
job. That's good. I don't know what
22:35
a flueven is, and what was the
22:38
question about tango music? Oh, the most
22:40
common type of accordion used for the
22:42
tango. Yeah, and that would be the
22:44
bandonian, Astor Piazzolla in Argentina. It was
22:46
very famous for tango music, written many
22:48
pieces. It's very exciting to play his
22:50
music. I love his music. Oh, we'll
22:52
have to look that up. Cool. I'd
22:54
like to hear that. Okay. Over to
22:56
you, Frank. How did you try to
22:58
push all our buttons? Mary-Ann is exactly
23:01
right, as is Izzy. The concertina is
23:03
not the instrument that's used in tango.
23:05
A flueven is completely made up. Ooh.
23:07
Yeah. The Trixie is not
23:10
really a nickname for the
23:12
accordion. I based that on
23:14
the name for the instrument
23:16
in Basque, Spain. Oh,
23:19
that is an instrument? I changed it around
23:21
a little bit because I couldn't pronounce the
23:23
full one. I see. Okay. But I thought
23:25
Trixie was cute enough to go. It's a
23:27
good lie, right. And you mentioned something about
23:29
a person who plays the accordion. Oh,
23:32
right. Yeah. The Schlosselmeister is completely made up
23:34
also. That was made up. I am the
23:36
Schlosselmeister. I am here to schlossle you. I
23:38
mean, it's fun to say. I don't want
23:41
that to be like an actual name. I
23:43
know. You should put that in your book.
23:45
I should. Yeah, write that down. You can
23:47
use that. That's from me to you. I
23:49
feel like Mary-Ann has the power to introduce
23:52
that to the world of the accordions also.
23:55
Okay. But also just a fun fact,
23:58
the movie that the accordion first... appeared
24:00
in in the year 1888 is called
24:02
none other than Accordion Player.
24:05
Clever title. And let's just
24:07
clarify once and for all,
24:09
the accordion is a what
24:11
type of instrument, Marianne? Well, it's a
24:13
reed instrument which, you know, the reeds
24:16
don't sound without the wind. So. Much
24:18
like the oboe. Yes. Yes, indeed. Very
24:20
good. And the person who patented the
24:22
accordion in 1829, Marianne, do you know
24:24
who that is? Cyril Damian. Oh, she
24:26
does know who that is. There is
24:28
some dispute, but we won't go there.
24:30
That's who's currently credited with it. That's
24:32
interesting. So that's probably not the name
24:35
then that Izzy found, which is how
24:37
she based her decision. Actually, I found
24:39
two names. One did it, then it
24:41
was that guy. The other did it
24:43
before him. And all I remember from
24:45
his name was Ludwig. I see. It
24:47
could be Ludwig Schottlmeiser. It could be.
24:49
Yes. I like the name.
24:52
We'll have to see if that name exists if
24:54
there's a person out there. Hopefully he plays the
24:56
accordion because it just seems right to do. Ludwig
24:58
Schottlmeiser, if you're listening, just send us a message.
25:00
Okay. Thank you. Please do. We've
25:02
come to the coda of our show.
25:04
Thank you to our master contestant Izzy.
25:07
And thank you to our expert and
25:09
liar Marianne and Frank. And thanks to
25:11
Lisa, our squeeze box of sounds. And
25:13
of course, many thanks to our listeners
25:15
tuning in to The Big Fib, where
25:18
we bellows shake off the lies and
25:20
sustain notes of truth. The Big Fib
25:22
is a production of Gen Z Media.
25:24
For more great shows, I recommend you
25:26
visit gzmshows.com. While you're there, you can
25:29
send questions for me to read on
25:31
the podcast. And you can find out
25:33
how you can participate. Also, listen, let's
25:35
be honest. You can follow us on
25:37
social media at The Big Fib podcast
25:40
for behind the scenes photos and more
25:42
true facts. And now I'm
25:44
going to go play my Schottlmeiser. For
25:54
more great stories, visit gzmshows.com.
26:00
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